Choose a student’s introduction that needs work. NOT a student whose introduction appears to be “fine.” Your reply needs to be about how to improve the introduction by answering ONE of these questions:
- The attention-getter is somewhat short or not developed. What details need to be added to improve it?
- If you cannot find a transition that moves the reader from the attention-getter into the points that will be analyzed, can you suggest a way to word it?
- If you cannot clearly identify the points that will be discussed in the essay, what suggestion can you give to help the writer clearly state the main ideas?
- Read the last sentence of the introduction. This should be the thesis, which is the entire purpose of the essay. What is the reason why these topic(s) are discussed? If you are not sure of the writer’s purpose, please explain why it is not clear to you. This may help the writer revise the thesis.
Week 12 Discussion: Marine Life
Talking about helping marine life is itself one of the essential topics. Moreover, the vaquita is one of the rarest mammals in the ocean and requires serious protection. As this animal is becoming endangered due to the increasing ocean pollution, developing a scenario to protect marine life is urgent. Vaquita is often caught as they are drowned in gillnets used in illegal fishing operations in the protected areas of Mexico’s Gulf of California.
Moreover, this porpoise was discovered in 1958, and it is on the verge of becoming extinct. The vaquitas are considered one of the smallest porpoises, which measure around five feet and weigh up to 120 lbs. It is unique because of its facial marking, which consists of black rings around its eye, and they have curved lips that are often compared to pandas.
Hence, the Mexican Gulf of California is required to develop working so that the ocean animals, along with other species, can be protected and do not become extinct. Extinct is based on catering to habitat destruction that develops a loss of the natural habitat and marine life or misbalancing the marine ecosystem.
Likewise, trash, chemicals, and plastic waste often get tangled with marine animals, which gets choked and often causes the entire species to end. Thus, the Marine Department is supposed to support marine life and help them in order to create a safe marine life.
In order to rescue the vaquitas, WWF is working in collaboration with the Mexican government, scientists, and other marine life protection department partners to protect this unique marine creature.
Protecting them is essential because they support the marine ecosystem on a tremendous note, and the vaquitas act as one of extraordinary support to the economic growth of marine life. Thus, we should ensure that this species of porpoise should be saved.
